"To Be An Expert, All You Need...

is 50 miles and a briefcase."  Another way I have heard this expressed is "You can't be a traveling preacher in your own town."  What great life lesson is in this?  Well there are several that Dad taught me using this line, but one had the biggest impact.  The lesson is that sometimes you need someone else with 50 miles and a briefcase to express your message for you.  What I mean by this is: at times, although the message might be meaningful, timely, and accurate, we just may be the wrong messenger.  On these occasions, we must set our pride aside and find the traveling preacher to deliver it for us.

For example: Growing up there were several things that I needed to here - as is true with any young person.  However, I often resisted the important lessons that my parents were desperately trying to convey.  Dad always sought ways for me to get the information that was important to my development by setting aside himself, and seeking another coach for me.  Whether is was one of my uncles that he knew I respected, a family friend, or a teacher, he would seek them out to convey any particular lesson of adulthood.  Please understand, I truly believe he never told any of these people what to say, but simply opened up the opportunity for people that both of us liked, trusted and respected.  He simply put me in touch with people he was certain would give me the best advice and information; people that truly cared for me.

The idea of finding someone to convey the message you want to deliver is an important one, but the real value I have taken away is the importance of truth being bigger than the individual.  If it is so important for the message to be heard, then the best person to deliver it is the one who will be listened too; it's never about being the exalted messenger.

"The rich get richer and the poor get poorer."

As I watch the status of our economy with great wonderment for the future (I leave the concern for the future to the incessant worriers), I am reminded of Dad's extension of a common saying. Likely in tough economic times we have all heard someone say: "The rich get richer, and the poor get poorer." This is meant to draw attention to the chasm being created between the rich and the poor, and the supposed elimination of the middle class. Well, Dad had a bit more to say than simply: "The rich get richer, and the poor get poorer." He would always add: "because the rich keep doing the things that got them rich, and the poor keep doing the things that keep them poor." Now Dad always made it clear that it was never his intention to minimize the plight of the true poverty stricken, and always encouraged and set the example for us to help those people. However, his intention - which was communicated quite effectively, I might add - was to draw attention to the able but unwilling. Most often, those that complain about the "The rich getting richer, and the poor getting poorer," are those that have had tremendous opportunity provided to them by their families, their companies, their communities and most especially their country, but have failed to make good choices, and have effectively taken two steps back. Frankly, those people too often blame others: their parents, their politicians, their neighbors, rather than looking at the path that they have made, and now are traveling.

I am reminded of the poem by Robert Frost: "The Road Not Taken". From Dad's lessons on the rich and the poor, I believe this poem is the best example of what he was trying to teach: If you do like everyone else, you will end up like everyone else. Make the hard choices, seize the opportunities provided, and work hard to accomplish and earn what they have to offer. That is really how the rich get richer.

What's better than a great defense?

Most of us have heard this question before. Many of us would answer that: "What's better than a great defense is a great offense!" We think this way because our focus is on sports. However, Dad talks of life, and always took things to the next level.

Dad wanted me to think ahead of needing to go on the offense and doing it well. In fact he wanted me to win long before an offense was necessary. "What's better than a great defense is not needing one", he would say. This was significant because it taught me to take the time to think things through before the time for offense or defense ever came. Although Dad never played chess, he taught me - like in chess - to think many moves ahead of my current situation, and that has served me well every time I have lived by the principle (as long as I avoided succumbing to analysis paralysis). Think about the decisions you are making, and ask yourself: Is it going to be necessary to defend my decision, or is their a better way so that no one can ever question my integrity?

Easy Come, Easy Go

Talk about FRUSTRATING!!!

Every time I was wasteful, or failed to appreciate what I had, Dad would offer his famous quote: "Easy come, easy go."

Although frustrating as a kid, I realize now the importance of working for what we have, and the value in earning something. More importantly, the value of knowing that it was earned. I recognize now more than ever the meaning behind this as I watch our politicians building their power base upon steeling from those that work for it just to give it to those that wish for it. Politicians and the people they give handouts fail to appreciate what it takes to earn. Never do they experience the long days and sleepless nights, hours of planning and preparation, working to actually be a producer, or they simply wouldn't come as a thief in the night to take what we earn.

As a child, my Dad was creating an environment - a microcosm of social interaction - for me to understand that when you are not the one earning, then you see no value in what it takes to earn. More importantly, though, he created an environment where I could decide whether I want to earn it or steel it.